Flash Flood #4: Hard is the Name of the Game

You like it hard. Real hard.

And that's okay. Liking things that are hard has been know to be very pleasurable and, given the right circumcisions, even fun! I understand you, trust me. You think that automatic saving in modern games is for wusses and that regenerative health in every FPS since Call of Duty 4 is total bullshit.

More than likely, you were born in the 80s or early 90s and thinking about old school Nintendo console games like Mario or Mega Man makes you break out in a cold sweat and you absolutely love that. Well oh boy, do I have a list for you.

QWOP-a-derp derp

Imagine that you're a tall, brown-skinned male from a small nation. Wait, don't hit that back button yet. Also imagine that after running in the Olympics before, you were mugged at knife-point in the streets of your small nation which left you with a broken vestibular system.

Instead of becoming one hilarious super hero, you instead decide to run in the Olympics yet again! That's QWOP for you. The controls are simple but the running is not. Good fucking luck with this game.

3. I Wanna Be The Guy

Here before you is a game that I have discovered a few months ago and I still cannot pass the first level. This one is classic trial and error with no save states within any given level and is the new definition of Nintendo-hard. The image depicting IWBTG in this post is the GAME OVER screen as I do not remember what the actual game looks like due to all of the death I was having when playing it.
You'll have to download the file included in the linked image above in order to play it, however it is easy to set up and worth playing if you have the hots for old school, platforming fun.

2. Hardest Game Ever & 
    Hardest Game Ever 2

When I first discovered the Hardest Game Ever a few years ago, I actually became pretty good at it. Three Call of Duty games later and that's not so true. You take control of the red square and your goal is to make it to each green area of the map. Hardest Game Ever is more forgiving than the other games listed in that each green area that you manage to touch will save your position for when you repeatedly die later. Ya' see, contact with the constantly moving blue dots instantly kills you.

Challenge derives from the fact that the red square moves at tree sloth speeds and, well, the blue dots? Not so much. Good news though is that, again, this one is much more forgiving in that if you take the time to study each level, you will figure out and enjoy huge success (If you have the patience of a Shaolin Monk, then try out Hardest Game Ever 2 which is also linked in the above image).

1. FLaiL
Matt Thorson

To say that FlaiL is a jumping platforming is a bit misleading due to a lack of actual fucking platforms to jump onto. I'm sorry about the rage, but that FLaiL is not only the hardest flash game that I have played but also the hardest video game in general.

But enough about me, I will now tell you that you will hate this game. I don't care if you're a die hard fan of the original Mega Man on the NES, the amount of input that this game demands from the player is mind boggling, and I swear that your tiny character's feet are made of equally tiny ice skates. But hey, that's the point of this list, right? Ridiculously difficult games for you to play in order to make up for the overall lack of challenge in modern gaming, right?

Right. I just wish that FLaiL wouldn't mash my scrotum into the consistency of country style potatoes in order meet that level of difficulty.

Grassroots Modern

Anyone hungry?

Check out my most popular flash game list here. If you enjoyed this post be sure the share the love on Facebook, on Twitter, or on Google+ by clicking the icons directly below, above, or the left of this post. You can also follow PMI on twitter @PlusMinusINF and on Facebook


Trending Posts

Game Review: Assassin's Creed (Xbox 360)