Top 5 BEST Things You'll Love About Call of Duty: Black Ops 3

Another year, another CODdamned COD game. Is Black Ops 3 any COD worth your hard earned COD? Find out COD by clicking COD.

This review will be split into two parts listing the best and the worst aspects of Call of Duty Black Ops 3. You can read Part 2 by clicking this little linky doo right here. No pretense here, let's jump right in!

5. Zombies

You can't swing a cat around Black Ops without smacking a cat about zombies. This game mode has legions of fans that will buy Black Ops 3 just to play Zombies. If you're one of those types, I am happy to report that Zombies comes prepackaged in BO3.

I personally find Zombies to be a contrived abomination that trashes the fun of the original Nazi Zombies from World at War, replacing the simplistic joy of killing waves of zombies in favor of studying strategies, learning Easter eggs, and overwrought lore. Buuuuut I know plenty of my COD friends that'll cut somebody just to play it so there ya' go.

Basically, if completing obscure challenges thatxist by watching YouTube videos sounds like a good way to spend an hour, then Black Ops 3's Zombies mode will tickle your fancy just right. If you long for the simpler tymes of just killing zombies in queue, Nightmares mode will be more to your liking, but I'll come back to that. For now, let's get to the meat of Black Ops 3 and talk multiplayer.

4. Dynamic Power Ups Complement Create-A-Class

In addition to the usual perks and weapon attachments COD offers through Create-a-class, BO3's multiplayer adds nein specialists that have two power ups each. Each specialist represents your in game avatar and can be visually customized somewhat through unlockable outfits and what-have-yous.

Reaper.

Firebreak

Most important here is that you can play as a badass killbot named Reaper that walks around like the T-100 with a transforming minigun arm power up. Or you can be Firebreak; a dude with a flamethrower. The other specialist power ups are more useful depending on the multiplayer match type, including cool shit like flesh eating nanobots , Goku's instant transmission, and an invisibility cloak. These other specialists lack flamethrowers and are not robots, but they bring well designed, tangible variety on top of create-a-class.

Accurate, ain't it?

This specialist's longbow rarely offers a tactical advantage,
but it is super fun to explode bodies with it's bolts.

3. Double Jumping Will Have You Float Like A Butterfly 

Aw, ain't bunnies such cute shit eaters?

You know what many gamers absolutely hated? The double jumping from Advanced Warfare changed the battlefield into an annoying game of whack-a-mole with everyone bouncing about like goddamned doped up bunnies. In BO3, this function is much better integrated. There's a gauge limiting how often you can double jump and the jump itself is akin to a swan's graceful take off rather than a super powered pogo-stick. You'll be more vulnerable, yes, but you can still nail some BAMF kills like in this video:

A pogo-stick is a like a hoverboard, but a stick, by the way. 

2. Four Games with Two Ways to Play In One

Right, in a move to bring Black Ops to its former, sales record destroying days, BO3 is a turducken of video games, if you will.

• Campaign - This classic joy shows off the presentation chops and horrible writing ability of any given COD game. Per tradition, Black Ops 3 looks stunningly detailed, if never life-like with exception to smoke effects and limbs getting blown apart. There's been talk of frame rate issues on console versions, but I never found it distracting from the experience during my play time. Unsurprisingly, the campaign is fun to play and the story is entertaining even if its a confusing mess borrowing heavily from other franchises like Crysis and that one episode of Dr. Who where-- Never mind. Spoilers.
  
• Multiplayer - This is the same old madness offering new twists with new power ups, double jumps that don't break the game, and a flamethrower.
  
• Zombies - Every bit as fun, involved, annoying, and secret filled as before. If you've loved Zombies since Black Ops 2, you'll love 'em here.

• Nightmares - A campaign zombies mode, this gem reveals itself only after the player completes the campaign mode. It's awesome in that it offers a new lore to the Zombies series, and it's playstyle harkens back to the more simple, shoot-the-zombies-for-points tymes of yesteryear.

The icing here is that each mode offers local co-operative play thank-fucking-God, giving use to that second controller you still haven't opened yet. So basically, there's 8 modes to play BO3!! Innit that awesome?

Oh, there is one other game mode that challenges you to free run an obstacle course, but since Black Ops 3's wall running is garbage and that game mode is garbage by extension, I'll move on to the final best thing about Black Ops 3. 

1. FLAMETHROOOWEEERRRR!

I probably should have just opened the list with flamethrower. Flamethrower probably should have just been the entire list. Flamethrower is love. Flamethrower is life.

Clearly, the flamethrower returns and it is good. Its flames have a longer reach than in previous games and enemies on fire will continue to receive damage. It's easily one of the most powerful power ups in the game and will make it worth the $60 admission for many of you. Some of you.

Just me.

Beyond the fact that fire is inherently cool, what makes it's addition silly-awesome is that BO3 takes place in the damned future. Flamethrowers are an ancient, rarely-used form of weaponry but in the middle of kill-bots, nanobots, and lightning cannons, there you have it: a flamethrower.

Now, and this is true, I was not going to buy this game new. But when I found out Black Ops 3 included a flamethrower, I turned off Xena, put on my pants, took a shower, and bought the game.

Obviously, Black Ops 3 offers an insane amount of content when compared to it's competitors that don't even offer a basic campaign mode. It would take years for COD fans to milk BO3's teats bone-dry. But with great teat comes great responsibility, so let's mosey on over to Part 2 and find out how well Back Ops 3 handles it's teats. What I found out after months of playing will absolutely probably not shock you.